one and a half stars

Reviewed by Daniel E. Jennis

“Jumper” is the perfect film for today’s caffeinated generation of hyperactive teenagers. Hayden Christensen (of “Star Wars” fame) stars as David Rice, a moping social outcast with teleportation abilities. David is called a “jumper” because he can move from one location to next with almost dizzying speed. Upon discovering this talent, David decides to rob a bank and flee to New York, embarking upon a life of luxury and impulsive romance.

However, every action has a consequence. There are a group of religious fanatics called paladins who are bent on killing every last jumper. Samuel L. Jackson plays the lead paladin, a white-haired beast of a man who wields an electric cane like a samurai warrior. For years, the paladins have been following an especially powerful jumper named Griffin (Jamie Bell) who poses a grave threat to society. Griffin is dangerous but he is also resourceful. David must decide whether to ally with this crazed superhuman or face the insane paladins on his own.

As you can see, the film’s plot is absolutely ridiculous, and the screenplay is even more bizarre. At the end of the film, at least three writers are credited, and there are several moments throughout the movie where the collaborative incongruity between these three unfortunate individuals becomes very clear.

Most prominently, the dialogue is uniformly atrocious. At the beginning of the picture, we are treated to inane voiceover narration that highlights the dull and melodramatic nature of teen angst. Later on, we get romantic dialogue between Christensen and love interest Rachel Bilson that quickly induces cringes and unintentional laughs. Finally, listening to Jamie Bell explain teleportation in serious terms is about as believable as Stephen Colbert’s campaign for President.

The substance of the movie is so awkwardly presented that all of the actors resort to laughable, over-the-top acting in order to distract from the obvious logical lapses. I can’t help feeling that the screenplay was written by people who are simply lacking in intelligence.

Ultimately, the film’s title is very indicative of its nauseating editing patterns. As the main characters jump from place to place, audiences experience a dizzying whirl of movement and color that is rapid and disorganized. “Jumper” is a lousy action film meant for people who can’t focus on one image for more than a few seconds. Because of this, any possible enjoyment is fleeting and thoroughly overwhelmed by the next stylized cut.